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Turned and ran smack into Kim, who was lurking right behind me.Kim is Van’s side-kick and long-time bestie. The two are like Moose and Squirrel. Kim is tall, big bodied, huge rack, and a doofus. Van is short, quick, and the brains of the operation. Van boogies, and Kim drinks. So, I wasn’t surprised to literally run into Kim, next to the beer dispenser.She had gotten miles past drunk. In fact, she was toasted. I said, “Hey Kim, how’s work?”; as I wiped the beer off the front of my pants. I didn’t really give a shit. But it kept me from saying, “What the fuck!!! you stupid canoe?!!!?”She eyed me warily and said, “Why?! What have you heard?!” Like I said, she’s a doofus.I continued wiping and said, “Relax, just making conversation.”Kim put her hand on my shoulder, leaned into me, and whispered conspiratorially, “I’m really wasted.” That was said with a badly executed, but very knowing wink.What do you say to something like that?! I knew what she was offering and I wanted to tell her,. "Ok, son. Two months then." Three, Dad. Three." Ok, three."Dad walked away with a spring in his step.---------------------------------------"Ben, you're making me self-conscious," Mom complained. She was washing a few dishes by hand while I finished my cereal. As she scrubbed the dishes, my eyes were drawn to the green tank top she was wearing or, more to the point, the tantalizing movement underneath that made the material so interesting to watch. I just couldn't believe my mom didn't wear a bra. This was my third day at home and Mom hadn't worn one yet. She wore t-shirts, loose blouses, and tank tops but never a bra. Misinterpreting the reason for my attention, Mom added, "They're fine. I only have the one lump and it hasn't grown and there aren't any new ones."My face reddened. Whenever that happens to me, trying to stop it makes it worse. I tried to hide it by looking down and scooping Honey Nut Cheerios into my mouth. "Whatever you say, Mom."It was definitely better that she.
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